They called me Wai Wuff

     I did not have anything left to eat. I tried to peek out of the window after I adjusted my pheran[2]. After some contemplation I decided to search for some food outside of my hut. In summer there were many things that to do to earn livelihood. But winter brought miseries with it. Farmers had nothing to grow, except some turnip. That meant no one could give me an opportunity to do labor. I did not know any skill like other women. When my husband was alive, he would forbid me to do anything besides my housework. Now that he was gone what was I supposed eat? His rotten flesh. Anyways, anger would not bring me any food.

    With this old body all I could do was beg. I looked around to find any human being but no one was around. Everyone was holed up inside their home. I am sure they are warming their body with kangiri[3]. I wish I had one. As if some goddess listened to my request, I found one kangiri lying in front of a hut. It looked fresh. I sneakily grabbed it and left.

    Unfortunately, this empty kangiri was of no use on its own. I had to fill it with charcoal. Our village was known for its friendly neighborhood but my neighbors did not care about me after my husband’s death. I hated to interact with people after all of my children died. They looked at me with contempt.  Some of them believed I was cursed. I wish I could curse everyone so that they would disappear.

  I knew about a young woman Valga who lived in my neighborhood. Although I did not meet her in person as she had recently arrived here after her marriage, but many people said that she was a kind woman. I also heard that she was much older than other brides, almost 18 years old.  I looked at her wooden hut. I did not want to go inside. My only option was to call her from the small window.

“Valga, Valga… Valga… I need charcoal. Can you give me some? Valga…. Valga… Valga…  I am like your puff ( aunt in Kashmiri). Valga…”

   It seemed like she could not hear me. The window of her hut was far from my reach. Perhaps if my back was not hunched, I could have asked for her help directly from the window. I tried to reach my hand on the wooden bar of window sill but it was not of any use.

“Who is there? Who? Who are you?  Kalya…! Kalya…!”, Valga shouted as she called her husband.

“Give me some charcoal…”, I pleaded her.

    When no one answered I decided to ask for charcoal from another neighbour who lived several meters away from the house. Because of winter it was still dark I could not see clearly.

    “Give me some charcoal…”, I pleaded each one of my neighbours as I held my kangiri in my trembling hands. Cold winds were torturing my whole body. Pheran’s wool could not protect me against the gust of cold winds. Thus, I returned to my hut empty handed. My stomach rumbling with hunger and body numb with cold.

    Desperate to feel some warmth I rubbed my hands against each other. For a moment there was some heat but it was quickly gone. I rubbed again and again until my strength to rub my hands had completely gone. It felt like I am going to die any moment now. Will it be that bad. 

No! I can’t give up on myself like this. I want to live. I just have to go to the nearby forest and bring something from there.

Wait, my head is spinning.  I can’t move. I… I have to get up…

    It is another morning already. I did not eat anything for whole day. But not today. Today, I am going to grab some food and charcoal. My body felt stiff while my head was spinning. I got up by pushing my hands against the wall.  Luckily, the wooden wall gave some warmth to my hands. I grabbed my kangiri, ready to fetch charcoal for it and food for my empty stomach.

  Before going out, I looked at my Dhaan[4]. Thinking about all those times when I lit it with my own hands while my husband brought wood for me. I touched my head to fix my scarf but I remember that I didn’t have one. My hair was matted and grey. It looked worse than any dry grass bundle. I would have washed in the nearby stream if it wasn’t so cold. That reminds me I have to bring water for myself.

  Today’s morning was not different than yesterday, cold winds, frozen grass and bare trees sprawled all around earth’s surface.  I had to get some food anyhow. Out of desperation I went to Valga’s hut again to ask for some charcoal and food.

  “Valga..Valga…Valga… Give me charcoal. Give me charcoal… Wai (pleading in Kashmir) give me some charcoal. I am like your puff (paternal aunt in Kashmiri).  If not give me some tea.”

  My throat was dry.  I was coughing. I continued to plead, out of desperation but whatever I said turned into strange noise of: “Wai… Waff … Waiwuff… Like your puff.”

It felt like I was barking like a dog.

Then I heard strange sound coming from the hut as if someone was running outside. The hut had two doors I decided to enter from back door. I did not have choice or self-respect left within me. The door creaked as I opened it.

   Wow, the hut was so lit. Lantern was hanging from one of the wooden bars which supported roof made of dry grass and mud. I lost my control when I saw freshly cooked rice in pot. I began to gobble it like an animal. Hot rice burned inside of my mouth but it did not stop me from eating. Once I ate every single rice grain of the pot. I fetched charcoal for my kangiri which I still held in my left hand. I realised that I had been holding it for such a long time that my left hand ached because of it. So, I held it with both of my hands while taking out burnt charcoal from another kangiri with krowsch (long iron spatula) which was lying on the floor.

  But then I heard footsteps heading towards the hut. Before I could register anything, I began coughing once again. Making that weird Wai wuff sound.  Someone screamed at me. It was Valga. I was so startled that I accidently threw charcoal at her feet.

 She ran away screaming loudly: “Witch!... There is a witch in my house. She tried to burn me.”

    I quickly began to refill my kangiri until I heard several voices in front of house.

“You are right. It is her! She is a witch!”, someone said.

“I told you. I heard that sound yesterday as well.”, Valga said.

    I stepped outside to find all of my fellow villagers staring at me with contempt and fear.

“I knew she was cursed. She killed her husband and her own children.  There is no doubt that she will kill as all. We have to take her to gossain (priest).”, someone else said.

Some young men carefully approached me.

     They will kill me. I know that for sure. I have to do something. I can’t let anyone kill me after all the hardships which I went through for coming this far. No matter what…I will survive. I threw burning charcoal at the young men who wanted to capture before running for my life.

     Although I could not. My body ached after running for sometime. I remembered that I was just an old woman once again. People began to throw stones at me. Yelling curses at me:

“May cloud burst burn you.”

“May you go to hell.”

“May devi (goddess) punish you for all the wrongdoings.”

    They cursed again and again. I felt pain each time a stone hit my legs, arms and then eventually my head; leaving me unconscious as blood spilled all over my face.

   After a while, I woke up. I did not feel any pain, only desire to take revenge. But before I could do anything to release my anger I saw something or rather someone lying on the ground. It was a familiar face. The face which I saw regularly in the water while I fetched it from nearby stream. It was my face.  Almost unrecognizable due to dry blood which covered it like a mask.

  I felt sad and lost. Then I went to Valga’s hut to ask for charcoal and tea.

 I called her once again: “Valga… Valga…Valga…Give me some charcoal. Give me tea….”

    This time she was rightfully scared as I appeared before her from the window. Reddish grey hair covered my eyes as I smiled at her sinisterly.   She screamed in pain when I threw my kangiri at her.  My heart was filled with joy after hearing her screams. However, my revenge was not complete until I burnt every person who killed me.

 That is how they called me Wai Wuff… One who threw kangiri.

[1][1] Wai wuf: Mythological witch who is   presumed to arrive in winter and throw hot kangiri at people.

[2] Pheran: Traditional full-length cloth made of wool which covers all of your body.

 [3] Kangiri: earthen pot covered with wooden straws used in  Winter to warm bodies in Kashmir.

[4] Dhaan: Old fireplace where people cooked food.